Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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