I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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