just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
