is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
