every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
