I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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