Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
