drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
