Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
