I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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