Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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