I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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