I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
