I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Operation Purity has been aborted
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
