y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
