hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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