I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
