remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize