Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Houston, we have a squirter
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
