I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
