Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
