Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize