I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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