That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
