eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
