If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
