Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Your cock deserves a montage
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
