I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
