We won't sleep together?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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