Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
