well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
whose parrot is this?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
