my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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