yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
