How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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