Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
