# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
