Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
