Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
