What a fucking waste of an outfit
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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