Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
