Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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