just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
