i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
