I'll bet she douches with gravy.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
