This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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