Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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