I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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