No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
