Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
