how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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