some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
