There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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