based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
