I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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