I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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