I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
where does the pee come out of this thing
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
