Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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