just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
