That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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