it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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