He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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