i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
