I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no you cant smoke seaweed
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
