She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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